the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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