But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
