I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
