i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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