OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Randomize
