Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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