cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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