guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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