he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
We named our party play list daddy issues
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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