did you get engaged???
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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