Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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