So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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