i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Randomize
