but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Dude, where are you?
... whose car?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging