in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday