ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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