She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
