I wish I could punch you in the face.
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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