I am puke
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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