if i can run in heels then i can drive
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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