so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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