How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize