You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
