She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
