Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
