Small penises have feelings too.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I wish there were birth control emojis
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
