My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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