my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
he quoted the bible to break up with me
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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