I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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