paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize