Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Sober January is a disaster.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
