Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
