I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
