absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
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