We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
