paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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