i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
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He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
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I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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