youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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