I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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