i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
