Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
