He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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