I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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