we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
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