Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Randomize
