Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
