you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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