we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
