I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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