when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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