I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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