Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize