im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
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He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
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Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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