This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
