There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
