my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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