and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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