i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
