Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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