I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
As shirtless as possible
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize