tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
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