ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
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