she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
