I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
