I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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