he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
