you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
